Guess its a bad time for me to feel moody.. i cant find any friends who i can talk to and tok... simply its a weekday and everyone bz the next day and cant sleep late... haiz... and why this always happen?

I'm so disapointed till i dont even have mood to do anything.. i dont even have the mood to continue playing my crisis core...

Time after time... it still happens...what can i do to change it? i did my best... i have tried my best.. and im very very tired after all the things i did and said..
But i guess it always went down to the drain...

Im angry but i cant get angry... im disappointed and sad and i tried to close my eyes and ears, pretend i nv hear or see anything... but the fact is i dont wish to run away from reality... fact is fact... if it dont change... i cant do anything... i can only accept it...

But how can i continue with this if i decided to go on the next phase of life? I dont wish to have any existing known problems to bring over my next phase of life..
When that happens... Im screwed...

I tried to tell myself, its ok and it alright... its just like tat... and its hard to change... becos certain things are just born like tat... and well... if tats so... how am i gona understand it?

I hate to guess and guess every now and then... believe it or not... its very tiring... I have changed a lot ever since den... My temper being reduced to my limit peak.. After so many times of saying... and expressing myself... my feelings. but to no avail... it still happens...

What can i do? i think i need certain amount of days to sort out my feelings and thoughts... its just full of loads now... can i just pretend i nv hear or see anyting? Can i just tell myself... forget it... it will be alright... but if i do so... am i reali cheating myself and what if these things happen in my next phase of life? what will happen den?

So much to think... i really cant handle my thoughts well now... all my talkable friends all in lala land now... 10/10 only 1 replied... but shes sleeping already... but i guess i should be considerated enuff to ask her back to sleep ba... anyway i thanked her for the reply... and apologise for waking her up...

I dont know how to face it 2ml... it will be damn akward... i will try my best to face it... and if my decision nv get respected... what else can i say? im too tired to think of anything... I try to forgive and forget.. but is it fair to me?

Or is it cruel to do this? i believe its the worse thing i ever do in my life... I know its cruel... but i believe its better than someday i regret i nv do it... and it happen...

I'm really containing feelings of guilt, disappointment, depressed... and kind of lost... am i too harsh in my words? what done is done... cant be undone... i have to face it tomorrow....

Dua Peh Gong... What should i do...