Nothing good happen tis few weeks or months..
I'm waiting and waiting for something special to happen
but always i tried so hard, or maybe too hard
or maybe over doing it?
maybe im over doing it.
Thus, making the situation worse.
Sometimes, i really wondered,
why i am feeling so tired.
Am i too concern about what and where the future lies
and what am i going to do in the future
how and when am i going to start the journey going
to acheive that.

Seriously, Im kinda lost now... I dont know what is the obstruction
that is hindering me, my decisions and thoughts.

Whenever i get into conversation with my Ns friends... talking
about the future... A sudden fear drives into me...
why is there this fear existing?
I really dont know...
Sometimes, i tried to figure it out
and i only make the matter worse...

I'm trying so so so hard to understand someone..
Its so hard to care for someone...
for being stuboorn...
1 2 3 4 times of persuasion for making someone to
consult doctor...
is it so hard?
or simply lazy?
Im not thinking too much.
My stand is, i dont want to regret.
If you know theres a problem, wont you wana get it done fast?
why would someone wana wait and wait and wait until something
bad might happen?

yes maybe nothing bad might not happen or rather might happen.
but which 1 will u think is better to avoid happening?
you will rather avoid "might happen" to happen rgt isnt it?

how many times must a person to persuade someone to do something
like this, say see the doc?
4 times... not once or what, everytime, i speak with patience...
wholeheartedly hoping someone will go and see doc...

When u wana see the doc? "dunno"
or rather the answer i always get is, "now nothing happen ma"

fine... i have nthn to say... maybe my concern and care is just
some useless actions and thoughts..

Shd i say when something bad happen already den regret?
oh... when something happen den u go and see...
wat if its too late? u already know something had happened...
in your OWN body... wont u feel worried?

ok fine... maybe you feel i think too much...
but my stand is very clear... i just want the best out of you..
Am I'm asking something very demanding from you.
I'm asking you to consult doctor and asked what actually happened to u

Fair enough, my tone is fierce... how far a guy patience can go? fourth time
if u reali wan me to count...
the fourth time i tell u... you tell me the same answer over and over again
so my previous 3 times, those care and concern, those worries... is nthning?

its not pleasant to be angry... u strike the matchsticks inside me... u think i wanted to be angry? u think its a wonderful feeling to be angry? How i feel after nagging at you? i feel so guilty... yet i feel pissed... yet i feel confused.. of whether im over doing it... but all i know is i want the best in you

if something ever bad happen... it dosent affect you onli... your family, myself... your friends... true... nthn might happen... BUT. if u go and find out and PROVEN, nothing is happening... isnt it a relieve for yourself? of cos me too...

woudlnt it better for u to always worry whether u can eat this or that without having problems... isnt it very silly... i choose to keep quiet that time becos i dont to get into a quarrel with u with this issue and ruin such a wonderful time.

I have already, mentioned my stand a lot of times... if it cant digest inside your brain... and u still dun understand... and you still blame me for the tone...
I'm very sorry... i believe im not a superman... i cant do everything tat will satisfied your needs and thoughts and feelings... i have alreadyt tried my very best...