I got this title from my friend's blog. Credit to Jieqi. She gave me this idea of writing this topic. I guess I do not need to extract what she extracted from her friend's blog here. . Its somehow link to my previous post so I may repeat things I said in the earlier post. Well, when I see this title or rather header of her blog, I was frowning with questions. Why in fact people will hate love? Yes, there are people who hate love. Simply they got hurt from a relationship or they faced any matters that actually hurt their feelings. Say this phrase, "I hate love". It does not make any sense, its not logical. It is too extreme.

However, I should say, it is natural to feel it after setback. I will agree what her friend described in a pessimist perspective. Who never actually get hurt emotionally before in their lives? I mean, I too, experience setbacks in relationships before or maybe I did not get hurt as much as her friend actually did. Not saying that he or she is wrong, it is just how people look at things. There are different limits of how people can actually take for different problems. Some are more patience; however, some are not that patience. Some, who are more patience, tends to get hurt more if the patience did not pay in the end.

This is life. Just remember, love is one element or aspect for whatever you call it, that you can never achieve perfection. Why perfection anyway? There isn't a need. Take every hurt as a lesson learnt. Yes confident, trust will be decrease after the incident BUT life still goes on. Yes, you may drown yourself in sorrows and you may feel depressed for a few weeks, BUT life still goes on. As I said most of the time nowadays, Life is so short. You never know what will happen to you and around you the next day. It is just a nature of humans that they tend to not to see the positive elements. However, whenever there is a just minor little setback, humans will choose to see it so harshly.

I must say it's natural to feel that way. That's why we learnt everyday. There's only two ways to face problems in our daily lives. Either Learn from it or get harmed from it. It's always your decision. No one can change your mind and thinking except yourself. Don't focus so much on "love". You can always concentrate on other aspects in life. I'm not asking anyone to avoid love. Its sounds quite pathetic for avoiding love. It sounds amusing to me somehow. When it comes, just accept it.

Always think that you are not the worst, my consultant told me. You might think you are in a very pathetic state; you just fell out of love, you had quarrelled with your love ones. One very important message to share with you all, "All these are just temporary."

Do you actually think what happened to you currently will actually happen to you forever? You know why this state seems to stay forever? You chose it. There is always an end to a slope. You find it so hard to walk up. It's the same; there is always an end to a problem. Believe it. You will succeed in conquering it.

How do you actually conquer it? Determination is the answer to the question. Same time, there is always a limit to everyone's determination. Some fight, some fall, some continue. Therefore, it's hard to know your limitation. Sometimes you overdo it without knowing yourself and you get all sort of problems and cause yourself to break down eventually. Determination is used everyday. Enough of determination, I shall say more on the relationship part.

Well, if its meant to be yours, its yours. If its not, don't pursue hurt. Of course, there are certain situations in relationship that are terrible. Being together for years but broke up because of "changed of heart", "lack of communication", "not meant to be" etc. Of course, million of "whys" will enter your heart and mind keep questioning. Blames start to fall over yourself or your ex. Anger, Sadness, all negative moods pours into you. Life seems so meaningless. You want to suicide to end everything.

You start to doubt yourself for a new relationship. Its very natural. I had seen too many cases already. Its sad to see some of my friends having this problem. Theres really nothing we can do to help them. Nothing will go into their mind. They will just want to hear those words that are similar in their mind. Anything different, they simply cannot accept. However, they will wake up one day and realise how foolish they are, by themselves. At the reign of loving someone, you are blind. You know how bad the person is, you still love that someone.

"Learn to accept differences and new things" a very good phrase to remember everyday. It's just how you look at things. I just thought of something. "Love" is just an element that has a lifeline too. After married for 20 years, most of the time "love" will slowly fade away. More of commitment I guess. It's a time where your kids actually grown up. You need more brain cells to concentrate on your family.

That's I guess its always better to find someone who you can communicate with, someone who is willing to commit rather than love as your first criteria. Therefore, I guess maybe if you failed to win her/ his heart, you will not get so heartbroken. Cos you might actually think, "oh we just can't communicate well, he/she can't commit, and we can't get along."

Right... Who will actually think this way when they actually fall out of love? Well, its just own decision on how you look at things.

So talkative I am. Now, I actually got confused what actually I wanted to say. Guess I'm too tired while in this attachment place. Well shall end here and get on something to do. To summarize before I go,

"Learn to limit your limitation whenever possible"
"Control your roller-coaster emotions"
"Learn from hurtful experience"
"Do not over-determined"
"Nothing stays forever"
"Accept failure"
"Stand up"
"Love"
"Is"
"....."